it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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