It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.