Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!

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(229): View more from Georgia

strike ten. I need to stop drinkng

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(757): View more from Virginia

It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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(936): View more from Texas

Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse

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(740): View more from Ohio

I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.

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