Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss