her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sex while Star Warsing is the best