Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.

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(973): i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex. http://tfl.nu/uspy

Replies (13) Good night (2896) Bad night (560)
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(559): View more from California

i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

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(559): i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat. http://tfl.nu/jbsx

Replies (62) Good night (9869) Bad night (940)
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(207): View more from Maine

it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.

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(207): it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho. http://tfl.nu/14wc

Replies (27) Good night (4642) Bad night (871)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

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(404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp

Replies (12) Good night (4625) Bad night (1396)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?

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(609): is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact? http://tfl.nu/ny5t

Replies (30) Good night (1756) Bad night (7353)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.

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(423): it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise. http://tfl.nu/943e

Replies (25) Good night (7474) Bad night (979)
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(614): View more from Ohio

How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?

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(614): How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville? http://tfl.nu/xd34

Replies (9) Good night (2247) Bad night (733)
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(916): View more from California

He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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(916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe

Replies (12) Good night (631) Bad night (4702)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.

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(574): I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both. http://tfl.nu/vmyj

Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (454)
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(516): View more from New York

He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.

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(516): He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/8pla

Replies (4) Good night (2016) Bad night (438)
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(831): View more from California

I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

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(831): I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible. http://tfl.nu/g067

Replies (5) Good night (859) Bad night (534)
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(310): View more from California

We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating

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(310): We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating http://tfl.nu/6jwq

Replies (17) Good night (845) Bad night (1484)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

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(203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a

Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (349)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?

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(248): Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents? http://tfl.nu/sosc

Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (239)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco

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(202): walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco http://tfl.nu/wpyq

Replies (1) Good night (264) Bad night (470)

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