is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.