Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis. (410): and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap. http://tfl.nu/onen
  Replies (26) Good night (1165) Bad night (2874)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv
  Replies (29) Good night (4098) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4105) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring http://tfl.nu/cvji
  Replies (16) Good night (726) Bad night (4852)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment http://tfl.nu/wssq
  Replies (82) Good night (1220) Bad night (5503)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/3cxs
  Replies (20) Good night (3265) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions http://tfl.nu/6v32
  Replies (3) Good night (1532) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (515) Bad night (2097)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (1096) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award. http://tfl.nu/kz36
  Replies (5) Good night (1003) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/mm6o
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them??? http://tfl.nu/q3vy
  Replies (6) Good night (284) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!? (1-519): Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic? http://tfl.nu/6rsm
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard http://tfl.nu/t1kd
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (502)

Randomize