oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
