you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
