Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
