remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
