I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
