I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
