My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize