u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
