Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
