I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
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