I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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