so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
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She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
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They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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