i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hippo gnu deer
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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