chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
