Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
