I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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