You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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