I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
