maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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