I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
