PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
