It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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