His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
