we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
