awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i now understand why vodka
I'm too high and old for this...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
