I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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