So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this boner is exhausting
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
