He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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