I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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