the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
what day is it and did you see me today?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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