So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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