My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
