He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
