he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
