Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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