Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
