Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
