I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
