You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
no you cant smoke seaweed
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize