Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
