I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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