I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
