Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
