it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
