You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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