It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
