Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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