i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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