I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
