Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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