she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
