she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
