He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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