i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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