So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
