Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
