So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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