i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
