Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
