They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
