shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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