you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i believe in u and ur pee
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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