Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
