my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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