You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
