Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.

Fav 69 5340 1013
share tweet
(315): View more from New York

They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

Fav 25 967 5490
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

Fav 15 4283 1398
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.

(540): View more from Virginia

You guys make me sad

(703): View more from Virginia

You misspelled jealous there

Fav 23 12181 1842
share tweet
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet

Fav 25 3005 1382
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

Fav 6 2046 882
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(307): View more from Wyoming

all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.

Fav 2 1683 967
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(318): View more from Louisiana

I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out

Fav 2 737 388
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.

Fav 0 37 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT