so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.