my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There r osticjed everywhere
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
