FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
