I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
