Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
