It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
