I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is my gift to your gina
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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