My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.