I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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