I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
